Behind The Scenes
by BehindTheRainbow
Summary: Daryl and Carol are separated but they always keep coming back to each other, even if it's the memories all they have left for now.
1. In my neighborhood they call it flirting

When I read MMB and NR have been filming together I grew too anxious, and I decided to write this to calm myself down. lol.

I don't know how frequently I am going to update this but it's going to be a series of one shots about Carol and Daryl spending time together. I like to think of it as some scenes we didn't get to see on the show, just because it isn't exclusively about them.

This one is set a few days after Daryl found Bob in the woods, when everything is calm in the prison.

I hope you like them, let me know what you think!

* * *

1.

The night was quiet, the growls of the walkers just barely hearable since they too seemed to slow down in the cold days, probably becoming weaker since their preys, both human and animals, tended to remain hidden.

Daryl took a cigarrete out one of the many boxes Bob had given to him. The man had been on his own for who knew how long, with nothing more than a litte bag, but he sure as hell had made sure he always carried a bottle of something and too many cigarette boxes for him to smoke. Well, who was he to judge. He guessed those could become essential for him too if he lost his whole group twice. He let the smoke out and watched it vanish and mix with the cold air, walking around the perimeter of the tower one more time. It was going to be a long, peaceful night, and he knew it would, but when Rick had suggested he went to sleep, he'd instantly tuned the offer down. Odds were nothing would happen but they couldn't go reckless, not with the Governor out there.

So when he heard the footsteps, even more distinguishable now that she wore those boots he'd gotten her in one of their trips with Michonne, part of him felt glad, and the other cursed. It was literally freezing and he'd heard her cough earlier. Last thing she needed was to catch a cold, especially since she spent a long time with the kids. He shook his head disapprovingly, but then he figured he had no right to tell her anything. After all, it'd been him who'd started that routine of keeping her company while she was on watch when he had nothing to do, and soon enough they'd both started to join the other to the point that whenever they weren't busy they were pretty much hanging together. He'd taken her to a few runs because she'd become a terrific shot, even better than most men in the prison. She'd also become fast and very accurate when it came to stab walkers down, because she'd simply changed. She was brave now, confident, a valuable member of the group. She'd always been, he'd always known that, the difference now was she believed it. And she kept telling him he'd changed too. He wasn't so sure about it, he didn't even care. All he knew was sometimes it got annoying when he walked through the prison yard and everyone kept greeting him, thanking him for the food and the supplies and what not. Who would have thought.

"fuckin' freezin' out 'ere woman, get yer ass inside", he told her without turning back.

She chuckled and walked to him, resting her forearms on the wall and glancing at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Couldn't sleep, and it's freezing inside too. Central heating isn't working", she joked.

He snorted. "No shit", he mumbled, "hope ya at least bought me a couple 'f chocolates in tha store". He turned his head to look at her, and saw her mouth curled in a pout.

"Aw, that's mean, Daryl. What I wouldn't give for some hot chocolate and croissants", she said absently,, rubbing her hands on her arms.

He chuckled once more. Carol had a good sense of humor and she was always making him laugh, sometimes against his will.

"Croissants? Fuck, that what ya used ta eat? I could never even manage ta spell tha damn word", he told her, amused, his eyes flicking on her face as he noticed how that grey wool hat made her bright blue eyes stand out even more.

"Oh, sometimes", she told him, waving her hand in the air. "You know, sometimes, when Ed was at work, we sneaked out with Sofia and headed straight to Starbucks… we ordered an extra-large hot chocolate and croissants". She lost her gaze in the distance and Daryl swallowed hard, the mention of Sophia always making him feel guilty, sad, even when it seemed she'd come to terms with it, accepted it. Even when she'd moved on and it showed in how she talked about her more than she ever did before.

"An' he never found out?" he asked her. He didn't like talking about Ed, but he sure as hell liked it when she talked about Sofia. He hadn't really gotten to know the girl much… he'd been too much of an hermit back then as to interact with the kids, even when he'd always been fond of them, for some reason.

"he did, once", she said, looking at the sky. "You can imagine the rest… it was still worth it though". She turned around and slid down the wall until she hit the floor.

"Now yer freezin' yer ass.. literally", he told her warningly, but he joined her anyway.

"How come you aren't wearing your hat?" she asked, her fingers pushing the dark locks of hair off his forehead.

"Ya kiddin' me? I ain't wearin' tha' damn thing.. Makes ma head itch an' it fuckin' hooks in tha branches wheneva I'm huntin'", he complained, shaking his head.

Carol laughed out. "That's mean, Daryl, it was really sweet of her to knit them".

"Yea, cause we all got jobs ta do.. hers is fuckin' knittin a couple 'f hats", he said with a snort.

"Daryl!" she spatted, elbowing him softly in the ribs. "She knitted some cute little outfits for Judith too", she told him, raising her brow.

"Yea, fer when they go ta the park on Sundays afternoons", he joked, which got her playfully elbowing him again.

Carol sighed. "They keep her warm.. god, you're impossible", she said in a serious voice, but she giggled right afterwards.

"Naw, I jus' like ta get ya mad", he told her, tapping her knee. Her eyes fixed on his hand and he quickly dropped it to the side.

"Yeah, you keep getting me mad, I'm going to call you Pookie in front of everyone", she told him as she yawned.

"An' I'll stick an arrow in yer ass", he replied, and he couldn't help but blush at the unintended double meaning of his statement. He looked down, hoping she hadn't noticed, and then back at her out of the corner of his eye.

Her eyes were narrowed in amusement and she had her hand over her mouth. She let out a giggle and then she bursted out laughing, which got him blushing even more.

"Oh my god! you better keep that promise!", she said in between laughs.

"Jesus, you're a freak", he told her, nudging her. "stop".

"Hmhmh", she hissed. "That was exhausting, laughing like that". She surprisingly leaned her head on his shoulder, yawning one more time. He stiffened at first, but he soon relaxed. This was Carol after all, and it wasn't the first time they ended like this. If he had to be honest, not only did he get used to it, to the physical contact every now and then, but he also kind of looked forward to it.

"If ya gonna sleep, ya better go inside Carol, ya gonna be warmer", he murmured on her hair.

"No, I think you're warmer than my sleeping bag", she said sleepily, pressing herself further into his side. He sighed, a little smile spreading on his lips, and slowly wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"Alrite, ya get yerself a cold an' I ain't lettin' ya join me fer a week", he warned her, his head leaning over hers as sleep started to win him over.

"Don't be mean, Pookie", she murmured on his shoulder. Never in a million years would he admit he actually liked that weird nickname she called him.

"I live ta get ya mad, dontcha ever forget", he whispered, his eyes shutting close against his will.

"You know, in my neighborhood, they call it flirting", she said groggily.

He opened his eyes and looked up the sky, the sudden temperature drop telling him it would begin to get light soon. She was breathing heavily, fast asleep in one second, and he ran his hand up and down her arm and looked down at her.

"Maybe".

* * *

Daryl brought his hands to his eyes and rubbed them frantically; hoping by doing it the memory would just fade away somehow. He couldn't count how many times he'd thought of her… it was like a constant thing that was always in the back of his mind, whether he was fighting with walkers, yelling at Beth, searching for food. She was always there, and he didn't believe in miracles, sure as hell didn't believe in good luck by now, but he sensed, he just felt she was alive somewhere. A deep sadness hit him whenever he recalled a conversation, a situation like the one he'd just been thinking of, and in his mind he could even hear her, her sweet voice, her contagious laughter. It hurt like hell, like nothing had ever hurt him before, but it helped him go through the day sometimes, it helped him bear a whole night inside the trunk of a car. Just the remote possibility of her being alive, of them finding each other was worth surviving.

"Looks like it's clear now, c'mon", he told a scared and tired Beth, turning his head to look at her before opening the trunk and stepping outside.


	2. He gave us a chance

Ok, here's the second chapter. I've always been curious about Daryl's thoughts about Merle's death, and here is what I think could have happened.

I hope you like it, tell me what you think.

S.-

* * *

"Oh my god", Carol said, covering her mouth with her hand.

Rick paced through the room, nervously biting his bottom lip. He stopped and brought his hands to his waist, his eyes on the ceiling.

"Damn, I'm sorry, Michonne", he said, looking at her. "I struggled with it, at first, for some reason… I…. I was going to, I came pretty close", he dared glancing at her but quickly fixed his eyes on the floor. "But we decided not to".

Hershel gave him a look and Rick cleared his throat. "_I _decided not to, Hershel and Daryl were against it from the start. But we went to find Merle, and he was already gone".

Carol's eyes widened as she began to understand what they were talking about.

Michonne glared at him, but then she just shrugged, letting out a sarcastic chuckle.

"He let me go. I've never liked him, but it's the second time someone tells him to get me and he just lets me go. He could have, you know? Both times. He just chose not to". With that she turned around and headed inside.

"I'm going to pay Daryl my respects", Hershel stated, but as soon as he started to move Carol grabbed his arm.

"Hershel, I think we should give him some time…", she told him. "I know him, and I've been there.. he's probably not himself right now, he'll come around, let's just give him some time".

Hershel smiled at her and tapped her shoulder. "You're right, dear. If anyone; it's probably you who he wants to see. Just let us know".

* * *

Carol walked to the perch slowly, but she knew he'd heard her even when he didn't move. It surprised her because he hadn't lost himself in the woods; he hadn't gone down the prison to take his rage out with walkers. He was simply laying there, his eyes fixed on the ceiling, his body covered in dirt and blood and his fists bleeding.

"Daryl", she called him out softly.

"Not now", he told her sharply.

Carol just nodded and bent down to place a plate of food next to him, one of her hands brushing lightly on his hair.

"I'm so sorry, Daryl. I'll be in my cell." And with that she walked out.

* * *

Carol didn't know what time it was. Could be midnight, could be almost day, but she hadn't been able to sleep. More than once she'd had to suppress the need of just standing up and walking towards the perch again, keeping him company even when he'd said he didn't want it.

But then she heard noises, and the next thing she knew he was leaning against her cell door. He looked exhausted, spent, bags under his usually bright blue eyes and his mouth pressed in a thin line. She felt surprised, because it was very unlike him to seek for company, but then again, he'd changed lately. So had she.

"Can I come in?" he muttered, and she smiled at him and gestured with her hand for him to walk inside. She sat on the bed and he hesitantly took a seat next to her.

"Did you eat?" she asked him softly, and he shook his head and stared at the wall, his eyes so unexpressive her heart clenched.

"I'm so sorry, Daryl", she began. "I know what he meant to you, I know how hard it is. I can help you get him tomorrow, give him a proper burial". She rested her hand on his leg, moving it down his leg soothingly.

Daryl's eyes moved to her hand on his leg, but he didn't flinch. He just let out a breath and took a cigarette out of his pocket.

"Merle always did whateva tha fuck he wanted.. ya know? I jus', I never thought he'd go this far". He lighted the cigarette and turned his head slightly to look at her. Carol just nodded, encouraging him to continue speaking.

"Ya know how all of 'em, Rick, Glenn.. Carl.. they always ask me wha' I used ta do, 'fore all this?"

"Yes", she said softly. More than once she'd asked him that question herself.

"An' I never really wanted ta answer cuz.. hell, I dunno why.. tha point is", he let the smoke out and watched it vanish in the air before he took another drag, "I didn' do anythin'. All I did was… driftin' around Merle".

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Doin' whatever he said we was gonna be doin' that day.. it was usually gettin' drunk, he'd get high, we'd get in trouble.. I fuckin' hated it ya know? Mos' f tha time".

"I can imagine you did", she commented, but she didn't really want to interrupt him because she'd never hear him talk that much, and she knew he probably needed it.

"More than once we ended up almos' killed over nothin', stupid drunk fights, was usually his fault... but I always stood up fer him, I didn' even argue, didn' actually stop ta think 'bout it, was a shitty life but it was how it fuckin' was.. gettin' rid of Jack sounded good 'nough ta ask fer more".

He inhaled deeply and rested his back against the wall.

"But then everythin' went ta hell an' I jus' go an' leave him twice, back at tha quarry I didn' even try that hard ta find 'im.. then we got away from that damn town an' as soon as we started ta head our way, all I wanted ta do was come back 'ere.. I didn' really cared if he wasn' comin'… I left 'im twice, an' he gets himself killed jus' ta give me a fuckin' chance, how fucked up is that?" He blinked several times and Carol noticed his eyes were watery, but she also saw him swallow hard, keeping the tears from coming.

"No, you can't think like that Daryl", Carol told him softly, her hand wrapping around his bicep.

"'s all I can think 'bout", he replied, looking down.

"You cared for Merle… you know you did. I saw it, we all did. It's not that you didn't care, it's just that you found other people you care about too, you found your place, and you had other things to lose".

Daryl turned his head to look at her, his eyes fixing on hers for a second, his teeth nipping on his lower lip.

"When we came back ta tha prison, I thought it could work.. ya know? or maybe I knew it wouldn', but I jus' hoped.. hell, I dunno, tha' maybe fer once things were gonna be alrite, tha' he was gonna become useful an' tha people 'ere was gonna start respectin' im tha same way it happened with me..". His voice started to tremble so he stopped speaking.

"Maybe he didn't want that, Daryl. Maybe he knew it wouldn't work, at least not for him… but he saw who you've become and wanted you to stay that way. I think… I think he knew it was going to be complicated for you, being who you are now, with him around".

"Yeah…", Daryl said thoughfully. "He wasn' a bad guy ya know?.. he did some horrible shit an' I never really understood it but I know he wasn' really that bad".

"I know. And he was a good brother, Daryl. He really was". Carol leaned next to him and she saw a single tear roll down his face, even when he quickly wiped it off with his forearm.

"He was..", he muttered. Carol rested her head on his shoulder and brought her hand to his face, brushing it softly against his cheek.

He leaned his head over hers and let out a breath.

"Ya mind if I jus' stay 'ere tonigh'?"

"Come here", she said simply, laying on the bed and pulling him along. He shifted on the bed uncomfortably but then he stretched his arm and pulled her to him.

Carol rested her head on his chest, feeling it rise and fall due to his heavy breathing. She looked up at him and saw his eyes were fixed on the ceiling, his head resting on his forearm. They'd shared many things lately, but they'd never laid like this, Daryl letting her comfort him and opening up the way he was doing, holding her like she might go somewhere. She wouldn't. She never would.

"That day I found Sophia's doll, I never told ya this…", he said then, looking down at her and brushing her short silver locks of hair off her forehead. "I was in trouble, that fuckin' arrow stuck on ma side an' all that... was almost unconscious. I don't know what woulda happened.. an' I know it makes no damn sense, but Merle was suddenly there, tellin' me ta take the damn arrow off me, tellin' me ta stand up, keep goin'. He said a whole lot 'f other shit really, but he saved me that day too. Never knowed if it was real or not, but ta me it sure as hell was".

Carol felt her eyes fill with tears over that story, over the unexpected connection between the two people they've loved the most and lost.

"I really wish I did find 'er", he said quietly, stroking her hair to the point her eyelids began to close.

"And I wish this didn't happen to you", she replied, "but you're never going to be alone Daryl, neither am I, we still got each other".

"Yea, an' I ain't lettin' ya go", he murmured sleepily, his breathing growing heavier until it turned into a soft snor.

* * *

Carol stared at the doll, her little light pink dress and her face covered in dirt. She hugged her against her chest, amazed at the many memories such a tiny thing could store, and then she dropped it inside her bag, turning around when she heard Tyresse and the girls approach.

She stretched her arms to take Judith from Tyresse, the baby smiling eagerly and stretching her tiny arms as well. Carol rocked her against her chest, humming soothingly, and the little girl looked at her, her eyelids heavy with sleep.

"You're sleepy, lil' ass- kicker? You liked it when he held you, didn't you?" she asked her, pinching her nose. "We will find him Jude. We're not giving up".


	3. This rebel side of yours

Hey you all. I've been extremely busy but I'm back. This one I had fun writing. Hope you like it too.

Have a nice weekend!

S.-

* * *

"Hey", Daryl said, his voice coming out a little too harsh as he jogged towards the fences, the sunset chill hitting him straight on the face.

"Oh, hi", Carol greeted him back, but she didn't even bother to turn around and look at him, her eyes travelling to the floor where the walker she'd just stabbed fell down, and immediately going back to the many others that remained left, in what seemed like a never ending story lately.

"Ya should call it fer tha day.. 's gettin' dark, thought we made it clear yesterday tha' no one was doin' this alone, specially not at nigh'". He hated to think this way, but sometimes he felt he'd rather have Carol cooking and staying inside the prison than taking care of more dangerous things the way she'd been doing lately. It was selfish and wrong, but it was probably safer and when it came to her it was all he cared about.

"Daryl, they just keep coming. It's totally safe, putting them down from here", she replied impatiently.

" 's safe'til it ain't safe no more.. one day they migh' just get through that damn fence, wit' all that growlin' goin' on no one would hear ya". He tilted his head and gave her a warning look, which got her snorting.

"And I got my gun with me in case that highly unlikely scenario happens", she told him, crossing her arms around her chest.

He chuckled and grabbed her arm, pulling her along as he walked towards the prison, but he instead of heading there he stopped and sat on the ground, taking a cigarette out of his vest and lighting it.

"Sup wit' this rebel side ya been playin' lately? Thought ya was gonna tell 'em 'ya been teachin' the kids how to use weapons", he asked, his voice serious, but she didn't miss the amusement in his eyes as they flicked over her face, bright and clear in contrast with the darkened sky.

"I was, but then I decided not to". She wrapped her arms around her knees and sighed. "What if they vote no, Daryl?" she asked him, turning his head to look at him.

"It would suck but I guess it's how fuckin' democracy works…", he replied, chewing on his lip. "I doubt they'd say no though… either way, ya should let 'em know".

"Some things are just not arguable Daryl. We don't vote whether we should go on runs, eat every day, this is the same… knowing how to protect ourselves is a basic these days. It all comes to that; it's the difference between living or dying", she stated, frustratingly kicking the ground with her foot.

"I know... and ya know I know, so ya go an' tell 'em that.. ya won't need to though, they're gonna agree", he insisted.

"I will, ok? I will", she said reassuringly. "Rick never asked for our opinion about Carl carrying guns though", she added with a smirk.

"Man's his damn father.. got tha impression he ain't gotta", he said, rolling his eyes at her stubbornness. A loud noise coming from tower C pulled them instantly away from their conversation, both of them quickly standing up to try to find the source.

"I can't fuckin' believe ya..", Daryl hissed, annoyed, putting his crossbow down as he glared at a giggling Beth who was coming down the tower, followed by an embarrassed Zach. The young couple didn't stop to greet them but jogged towards the prison instead, Beth's giggles fading with the distance.

Carol let out a laugh and he turned around to face her, his face filled with anger.

"This ain't no damn joke, Carol.. . kid ain't gonna be singin' those damn cheesy songs when she gets knocked up!" he barked, and Carol started laughing even louder.

"You want to discuss this with the rest of the council?" she teased him in between giggles. Daryl glared at her and she instantly turned serious.

"Daryl, we've handled it… just let them be", she said softly. "Hershel may be old but he isn't foolish, he told Maggie to take care of it. Then Maggie came to me and asked me to talk to her, get her pills… she said she wasn't exactly the greatest example", she finished with a snort.

"Yea, she sure as hell ain't...", Daryl commented, going back to sit on the ground.

Carol joined him and they stayed in silence for a few minutes, both lost in whatever it was that they were thinking. Suddenly, she started to giggle again, and Daryl gave her a questioning look, his mouth slightly curling in a crooked smile he quickly tried to hide. He'd never let her know, but somewhere between Merle's death and the Woodbury people joining them he'd become addicted to her laugh. It was contagious, it was soothing and it got him light headed, like whiskey, like a damn drug.

"What's so damn funny?" he asked finally.

"I was just thinking…", she told him, waving her hand in the air. "It's stupid, really… but, don't you think it's weird we get to know who's fucking who? And when?"

He snorted and shook his head. "Hell yea.. Weirder than dead corpses walkin' round..", he said sarcastically. He shoved his hand inside his pocket and lighted himself another cigarette, eyeing her curiously when he saw she was staring at him.

"Come on, don't tell me you don't miss it", she said suddenly, suppressing another wave of laughter.

His mouth went wide open and he choked on the smoke. "What?!" he spat in between coughs.

"Sex", she said simply. "I mean, it's been… what, 4 years? That's a long time", she added, absently looking at the sky.

"Ain't never been a priority I guess…" he mumbled, shifting uncomfortably. Sex wasn't in the list of topics they usually talked about, and even when it was far beyond his comfort zone, he felt extremely curious about whatever she had to say about it.

"So what?" she said with a shrug. "You miss it, the same way everyone here does".

"How can ya know that?" He wanted to change the subject, drop it, go inside the prison for that stew the Woodbury women were cooking, but another part of him didn't seem to agree.

"The same way I know they miss a home meal, or a hot bath. Again, it's basic needs. Instinct, whatever". And she didn't look nervous at all, probably because he was the only one who freaked over this stuff, even when he was almost 40 years old.

"Do you?"

He didn't know where it came from, but it'd come out of his mouth before he could stop it. He instantly blushed, and chose to fix his eyes on the ground so that she didn't notice.

Carol chuckled, seemingly not surprised by his question. "Well, I didn't exactly have a very active sex life with Ed… but I do miss, you know…". She started to stumble over her own words, suddenly wishing she hadn't brought the subject up, because now she didn't know how to honestly answer that question without embarrassing both of them.

"Watcha miss?" he asked her, confused.

She opened her eyes wide and chuckled, eyebrows raised, her palms exposed to him apparently indicating the answer was obvious, but he wasn't catching it.

"Tell me", he insisted, tugging her jeans. He didn't know why, but suddenly nothing was more important than knowing what it was that she missed about sex.

"My vibrator, Daryl", she bursted out a little too fast, her cheeks burning as she looked at her side, in a clear attempt to avoid looking at him.

A wave of images of all sorts came to his mind, his eyes fixed on her profile as he swallowed hard, blood rushing south and reminding him how much he actually missed it, how much he'd actually been thinking about it lately, picturing her… like that… with him, whenever he was trying to sleep. Well, he'd definitely have new material now. And it didn't feel enough.

"Ya could do so much better than that", he said without thinking, his voice low and his eyes going up and down her frame. He didn't drop his gaze when he saw her slowly turn around, lifting her eyes at him, her index finger finding its way inside her mouth.

"How?" she asked him, her eyes fixed on his. And he didn't know if she was teasing him or if she really didn't have no idea of what she'd just done to him, but either way she looked sexy as hell, biting her finger as she waited for him to answer.

"Ya really wanna know?" he asked huskily, feeling something possess him, the result of too many nights, too many days, too many things they've shared, things he'd never told her, things he'd always felt he had to hide away, suppress. Unsaid. Undone. Too much thinking and overthinking that ended up blocking him, when it'd always been there, that look she was giving to him right now. The look that told him she wanted him too.

Her lower lip replaced her finger and she nodded slowly. "Yes", she hissed.

His body began to automatically lean towards hers, his eyes going to her face to that damn tower he'd been complaining about just minutes ago. But his mind, always trained to detect external threatens, didn't miss the heavy footsteps behind him, not even in this situation.

"Jesus, Daryl... Carol… what the hell are you doing here? You got me worried", he heard Rick's voice say, filled with relief.

Daryl let out a frustrated growl, but he stood up immediately. "Seems ta me ya worry too much", he barked, turning around and stretching his hand to Carol.

"We were just hanging around, Rick. It's a nice night", Carol said, taking Daryl's hand and letting him pull her towards him, her fingers intertwining with his for a second, her eyes finding his and smiling slightly, until she was up and everything that'd happened seemed to instantly fade, at least for the moment.

And he grinned at the complicity behind that innocent comment. Yes, it was a nice night indeed. Would have turned into the goddamn nicest night ever if ya weren' so damn nosy, he'd have liked to tell Rick.

Rick eyed them curiously, but quickly turned around and started talking about tomorrow's run as the three of them walked inside the prison, where, now more than ever, Daryl had no idea what would be waiting for him. For her, maybe. For both of them. 

* * *

"Daryl!"

The high pitched voice brought him back to reality, the grip on his glass filled with moonshine tightening when he realized his hand was slightly trembling.

"I heard ya", he muttered, too altered by that sudden memory as to say or do anything else.

"Are you ok?" the girl asked. After that emotional breakdown he'd had earlier he couldn't imagine how he could possibly be ok. It'd been good not to be alone. It'd been good to let it all out. But it hadn't changed the fact that she wasn't there, that pieces of memories were all he got.

"Jus' thinkin'… is all", he said absently, still feeling dazed.

"About what?" Beth insisted. Girl was damn nosy. Took his patience too far most of the time.

"Better days".


	4. Die before letting you go

I'm back with this one too! Hope you enjoy.

S.-

* * *

After the Woodbury people settled in the prison, the reactions in the initial group had varied widely. Some of them had felt threatened by their presence, and it was understandable, especially after all they'd been through. They rarely said it out loud, but the lack of trust became evident in little things, and for most of them it took a while to relax around them, talk to them, put them in charge of the things that had to be done. Daryl had been one of the least receptive to them; to the point Carol sometimes thought he'd never be his old self again, and she understood it at some point, because it'd definitely taken him a while to get used to and feel at ease with his former group, but she also thought it was a shame, after how far he'd come. He'd just get lost in the woods, with the bonus that he always came back with food, which had become scarce now that there were so many of them, or he'd keep himself busy and alone fixing stuff that needed to be fixed or organizing runs. She knew there was an important run coming, which he was kind of nervous about, and she kept encouraging him to take some of the Woodbury people along, but hell did she know that her friend was hardheaded and hard to convince.

And for Carol, it'd been pretty much the opposite way. It had been like renewed air, having these new people in. It gave her the sensation of things slowly returning to normal, or as normal as it could ever be in that world. It was almost like slowly rebuilding a society, and in that process, her role was now a very active one: she took charge of things, made decisions, argued when she didn't agree, belonged to a council. It'd also given her the possibility to meet very nice people, some of them she became closer to than others. She missed her friend, missed that complicity they'd always shared and which had become rare these days simply because he wasn't around, but it was easier when you had other people to talk to and so many things to worry about. And almost instantly and unexpectedly, the two girls, Lizzie and Mika, had glued to her, and she had to admit she'd grown fond of them pretty quickly too. It was probably the result of them having lost their mother recently, and of Carol herself determined not to make the mistakes she still couldn't forgive herself about when it came to Sophia. It was also that the girls were adorable and simply easy to be around, and that their father, Ryan, was still confused and shocked, unsure of his capacity to raise two kids in the middle of a zombie outbreak and without their mother.

The truth was that, when it came to take care of people, Carol was always the one to be reached. She just knew about hurt, had had a lot of it in her previous life. And for that reason, she never ever judged. She'd gotten close to Ryan mostly out of his need of comfort, of someone telling him things were going to be ok and her daughters wouldn't grow without a female figure. She also wasn't oblivious to the fact that the man had begun to innocently flirt with her, and sometimes she felt bad for letting him just because it didn't harm anyone and it did boost her self-esteem a bit. So one day she decided that what the man needed was someone to show him he could indeed look after his kids, survive in this world, and she organized her own little run with him in search of some kid clothes. She made sure she told Rick and Hershel, and they didn't object because the place they were heading was pretty close, shouldn't be taking more than 4 hours. She also tried to tell Daryl, because she respected their unspoken agreement of keeping the other updated with whatever they did, especially if it involved going outside the fences, but he was nowhere to be seen so she figured she could just catch up with him later. And so did she.

And even when she knew Daryl could be unpredictable, his reaction had gone far beyond her imagination.

* * *

"Wow, thanks Carol. God knows Judy was needing some winter clothes, and so was Carl. And me", he said with a chuckle, going through the box of clothing for the Grimmes family she'd managed to get.

"Matches your eyes", Carol said with a grin, happy to have helped. The run had gone as smoothly as it could go and she did feel kind of proud.

"Ya know, Daryl was looking for you", he commented, examining the brand new blue sweater and instantly putting it on.

"Oh, wow, you look handsome, Officer", Carol said with a whistle, and they both laughed. "He was? Where is he now? I haven't seen him, I think, since yesterday", she told him, suddenly realizing it wasn't really a long time, but it did feel like it.

"I think he's on watch? I don't really know. I can tell you though, he didn't look happy when I told him you went on that run", Rick told her warningly, an amused expression on his eyes.

"Yeah, well, he's never happy with anyone going on runs, unless it's him or Michonne", Carol said with a sigh, deciding she'd look for him.

"Unless it's anyone but you", Rick objected, and she laughed and rolled her eyes. Maybe he was right.

* * *

And Daryl was indeed on watch, his back to her. She was surprised he hadn't heard her jog up stairs.

"Hey Pook, what's up?" she said, deciding to test the waters first. She knew he'd probably complain about her going on a run but she didn't think he'd actually be angry.

"Watcha doin' ere?" he barked, staying still, and she frowned and walked to him. She'd thought wrong.

"I was looking for you. Been looking for you the whole day really", she told him. It was the truth after all. "Got you a nice shirt and I'm begging you don't cut the sleeves off", she joked.

He slowly turned around, his mouth pressed in a thin line and his brows lifted.

"A shirt, huh? holly shit, thanks. Ain't matter that ya coulda gotten yerself killed, was really needin' a fuckin' shirt", he said coldly, and Carol stepped back.

"There was no way I could have gotten myself killed, Daryl, it was no big deal", she said matter-of-factly, her eyes searching his.

He remained quiet for a second, and then walked to her, pointing at her with his finger. "That's exactly what people who don't know shit 'bout runs say, an' who'd have been there ta take care 'f things if shit hit tha fan, huh? that fuckin' asshole yer so fond of who ain't even know how ta use a damn knife".

"You think I'm not capable of going on a run, huh?" Carol asked him, crossing her arms around her chest. "and what do you know about Ryan other than hating him because he happens to be spending some time with me?"

He threw his head back and opened his eyes, a sarcastic smile spreading on his lips.

"an' ya think I give a damn who ya spend yer time wit'?" he said harshly, stepping into her personal space. She fixed her eyes on his, her gaze almost as cold as his.

"I know you do", she stated, her words taking him by surprise, but he let out a chuckle.

"Ya know NOTHIN'", he spat, waving his arm in the air. "Ya think ya become useful jus' for goin' on a run an' get back wit' a bunch of fuckin' clothes wit' an asshole who wants to fuck ya? Well lemme tell ya somethin', yer fuckin' wrong!"

Carol froze at first but quickly felt the rage starting to flow on her veins. She loved him, but she wouldn't let her treat her like shit just because he couldn't deal with his own emotions. She walked forward and, without thinking, grabbed him by the neck of his jacket. The action surprised him and his face expression changed, her face inches away from his as she spoke:

"Don't you dare saying those things to me, you son of a bitch! I'm not allowing it anymore. All this time I thought you knew me better than anyone and you throw those words at me?! WELL FUCK YOU DARYL! I wish you were man enough to say what really bothers you about all this!" she barked on his face and turned around, determined to go straight to her cell.

She hadn't even started walking when she felt his hand wrap harshly around her wrist, turning her around. She stiffened. He was so close she unconsciously leaned against the tower wall to distance herself.

"Dontcha turn yer back on me when I'm speakin'", he said, his voice low, and even though it was dark she could see his eyes flicking all over her face, his gaze a cold, intense blue.

"Fuck you, Daryl! Let me go", she muttered sharply, her hands going to his chest to push him away. But her eyes went wide open when she felt him press his lower body against her own. She saw him lick his lower lip and she opened her mouth in confusion, letting a breath out instead of any words.

"Say it again, an' I'll let ya go", he whispered, his face so close he was almost nuzzling hers.

Carol frowned, her heart starting to beat faster, and she couldn't quite believe what was going on but she felt extremely and instantly turned on by the whole situation, this Daryl, the Daryl standing in front of her, every inch of his lower body pressed against her, _wanting her _to feel him, one she didn't recognize, one she'd fantasied about, sure, definitely, but she'd dropped those fantasies as soon as she realized they wouldn't become real.

"What..?" she started to ask, but then his head went down to her neck and she found her own arms wrapping around his lower back, pulling him closer as he licked the way up her chin, his breathing already heavy.

"Tell me ta stop", he whispered on her ear in the huskiest of voices, his hand finding its way under the hem of her shirt and moving painfully up. And she wasn't thinking anymore, things she'd been wanting for so long she'd almost forgotten about happening so unexpectedly and quickly that her brain just shut down. She moved her face to try to find his lips, but she ended up kissing his chin instead, a loud sigh coming out of his mouth.

"Tell me ya ain't goin' nowhere without me knowin'", he spoke on her mouth, his fingers moving to her chin to hold her face still while he slowly opened his eyes, fixing them on hers. She could feel him hard against her pelvis and she couldn't help to grind herself against him, a growl escaping his lips as his eyes scanned her face.

"I can't tell you that Daryl", she said in a voice she almost didn't recognize.

"_oh, fuck"¸ _he whispered on her mouth before crushing his lips against hers, his tongue immediately intruding her mouth. She moaned and tangled her hands in his hair, kissing him back with the same intensity, her tongue tangling with his and fighting for dominance. She felt his hands roam all over her body with such desperation she suddenly realized he might have been wanting her for as long as she had.

She grabbed one of his hands and led it to her breast as they devoured each other's mouths, but he abruptly pulled apart, his hands going to her sides and holding her tightly as his eyes found hers.

"I 'd fuckin' die 'fore I let anythin' happen to ya. I fuckin' hate that whenever I look for ya there's that damn asshole followin' ya around like a lost puppy. I hate tha' I want ya this much an' lately ya jus' seemed impossible ta reach", he confessed, his voice heavy with lust.

She smiled at him, her heart still hammering in her chest both by that heated kiss and the sincerity of those words she thought she'd never hear. She brought her hands to his face and pressed her lips on his, letting them linger for a while before pulling apart.

"Daryl, I've always been here. I've always wanted you".

He gave her a crooked smile and crushed his lips against hers once more.

And she knew exactly what would have happened if Glenn hadn't decided it was his turn on watch.

* * *

Carol kept on walking, the proximity to Terminus making her almost jog even with the heavy weight of Judith on her back. She couldn't help but thinking Daryl could be there. She couldn't wait to find out. She didn't believe in magic but she sensed somehow she was getting close to him the same way she still remembered the feeling of his rough lips over hers. The memories of that first kiss that'd been almost angry and desperate were the only fuel she had left. Luckily, it hadn't been the only one. But sometimes she felt she needed so many more of them just as she needed air.


	5. No regrets

Wow, this is a long one, and probably one of the last chapters. Hope you like it :)

S.-

* * *

5.

Daryl jogged towards the perch, which was the closest to a bedroom he'd had in a long time. He crossed people in his way, Woodbury people who silently nodded at him but also Rick and Hershel, but he just gave them a look and walked forward. It was a good thing, how people knew not to come close to him just by that warning look he gave.

It was already dark but there were a few hours left until they had dinner, and he was glad he didn't have to go to the common area just yet. He had to think. Lay down, calm down. He'd also have to jerk off if he'd had more privacy, but that was a different story.

It's not that he was surprised by what happened. Not really. Things with Carol had turned strange lately, confusing. He couldn't point out exactly when. It'd been out of comfort that they'd gotten close to the other, but now that part of the pain on both sides had healed, that they were more settled and in a better place both physically and emotionally, he'd started to feel different, hell, even act different towards her. His stomach twitched with her double meaning jokes, tingled whenever she touched him, rested her head on his shoulder. His eyes scanned the whole prison whenever he got back from a run or a hunt, the reassuring words of his friends that she was alright coming even before he asked. And then what he enjoyed the most, the hug she usually gave him when she saw him, dirty, exhausted, but safe and looking for her. Because Carol was nothing like him: she was an affectionate and loving woman, and even when he liked to think she had special ways of demonstrating it with him, it was still confusing to which point he was that special to her, or if it was simply the way she was. Because lately she'd been displaying all that amount of affection with pretty much everybody, specially that Ryan guy whose daughters had started to think of Carol as a second mother, and it'd gotten on his nerves, like a spoiled, 5 year old kid who wanted her all for himself.

The physical attraction, it'd come even before, had probably always been there, even back at those days in the Quarry where he'd realized he enjoyed just watching her, her freckles, the way she walked, and her eyes. He'd always liked her eyes more than anything else about her. But it wasn't until recently that his body had started to react so badly towards her presence, that most day and night dreams consisted of her, pressed against him. He might be awkward as hell but he wasn't stupid, and he was positive that she could also feel the sexual tension in the air even when he'd always doubted something would ever be done about it. He'd fantasied about kissing her, but he'd never imagined it'd all explode the way it had no more than 30 minutes ago. It hadn't been the way he'd thought it should have been, hadn't been the way he thought she deserved it, but she seemed to have liked it none the less. And after having had her pressed against the wall, kissing her non-sense until Glenn came to take watch, he'd had no better idea than running down the stairs, her following him right behind, and muttering a "see ya" without even turning to look at her. He was going to have to fix it, and that was alright. Wouldn't be the first nor the last time he acted the wrong way with her anyway. But also, and more complicated than that, he was going to have to decide what he wanted to do with what happened. And he had to make that decision pretty quick too; it wasn't that he could just excuse himself and go on a hunt in the night, even when at times it sounded like the best idea.

* * *

As soon as he walked into the common area, he could see Carol, Beth, and two other Woodbury women serving dinner, the rest of the people eagerly sitting wherever they could. He took a seat on a step next to Rick, silently praying anyone but Carol handed him his plate, and instantly feeling stupid for thinking that way. He let out an ironic chuckle when she saw her walk towards him, her expression unreadable, but pretty much looking like nothing had happened between them: no signs of a knowing smile, nor an angry frown neither and he guessed that was good.

"huh, thank ya", he mumbled, his eyes lifting to find hers. She just nodded and turned around, the swing of her hips almost deliberate as she walked away.

"Daryl", he heard Rick say, an amused look on his face when he turned to look at the man.

"What?" he spat.

"Did I just catch you staring at Carol's ass?" he asked, diverted.

"tha fuck ya sayin'?!" he replied, giving him his trade fuck off look.

Rick snorted and just kept on eating, which annoyed him even more.

* * *

"Come on in Daryl", she said softly, even before he showed up by her cell door. She'd learnt that from him.

He hesitantly walked in, his eyes scanning the whole area, even when he knew it by heart, for a place to sit that didn't involve her bed, where she was lying with a book on her lap. He shifted uncomfortably on his feet and opted to lean against the bunk bed metallic frame.

"Were you needing anything?" she asked him in such a detached way it made him briefly wonder if what'd happened had been real or some product of his twisted imagination.

He crossed his arms around his chest, dropped his gaze to the floor. "Was jus' lookin' fer ya", he said, taking a deep breath as he moved forward and sat on the edge of the bed. She didn't say anything, just shifted a little to give him more space.

"Oh, ok", she said simply, making him even more disoriented. He chewed the inside of his cheek, his eyes scanning her until he just lost his patience.

"Aintcha got nothin' ta say 'bout what happened?" he bursted out, sounding offended.

He watched her sit on the bed, her back resting against the cold wall, a hint of a smile surprisingly spreading on her lips. She leaned forward then, her hand travelling to rest on his leg. His first reaction was to stiffen but he quickly tried to relax.

"What do you want me to say?" she asked him softly, her fingers moving back and forth above his knee.

"I dunno", he said shyly. Not that he had a speech prepared himself. "I thought, hell… I don' know wha' I thought, tha' maybe ya was angry or.. upset or somethin', 'cause of wha' happened.. an' I.." as he heard himself speak he knew he wasn't making much sense, and luckily, she interrupted him.

She moved the hand from his leg and scratched her head before moving it to wipe the hair off his forehead, her eyes narrowing as she chuckled. "Oh, believe me, I wasn't upset", she said, her fingers travelling to his temple and down to his cheek as she leaned in and pressed her lips against him. He hadn't even begun to kiss her back when she pulled apart.

"Or angry", she added, her eyes flicking on his face, but she closed them in anticipation because it was him who closed the distance between them this time, a growl escaping his lips when they met hers, one of his hands flat on the bed to balance himself as the other moved to her waist.

"That's good ta hear", he breathed on her mouth, and he felt her lips curl in a smile, her tongue tracing his bottom lip as her hand gripped the collar of his shirt and pulled him to her. He crawled towards her, her body automatically leaning back until her head hit the pillow. He laid on top of her, bracing on his arms as he pushed his tongue inside her mouth, groaning when he felt her own tongue stroke his, the kiss deepening instantly. A soft moan escaped her lips and he felt her legs open under the blankets, his body pressing against hers and his mind going blank when she started to grind himself against him. Jesus. He hadn't expected she'd be this confident when it came to this, and it was turning him insanely on, but he was supposed to be there to talk and apologize if things had gone a little too fast earlier, and instead, they were just speeding up.

He leaned his head back, her eyes instantly opening up, her face flushed, lips swollen, and he swallowed hard. He'd never seen anything so beautiful in his entire miserable life.

"What's wrong?" she asked him, her breathing still labored.

"I don' wanna", he begun, but as always, he stumbled with the words. "I mean, are ya ok wit' this? Cuz I felt bad 'bout bein' so rough earlier an' now I feel it's kinda goin' in tha same direction".

She smiled and lifted the blankets, motioning for him to get inside. He blinked but didn't ask further questions and quickly got rid of his boots, crawling inside the bed to lay on his side, facing her.

"You weren't rough Daryl, I'd say it if I felt you were, I trust you enough to just tell you anything", she told him reassuringly.

He gave her a crooked smile, his hand moving to her chin and up to caress her face. "I did mean it though, when I said I wanted ya".

"I know", she said, letting out a little smile. "But you didn't give me the time to say it back", she added, holding the hand that was touching her face and sliding it down her neck and further south until it reached the hem of the cotton pants she wore to sleep.

Her eyes darkened and so did his, her hand still over his as it slowly slid down her pants and panties.

"I want you too Daryl", she repeated, her eyes shutting close when he began to touch her underneath her clothes.

"Fuck", he muttered, his lips finding their way to her neck and leaving wet kisses down her collarbone, his fingers exploring her folds, marveled at how wet she was. He felt himself go impossibly hard and he prayed he didn't come so soon.

"Oh my god, Daryl", she moaned when he added pressure with his fingers, encircling the little nub of nerves he knew by instinct and experience was the place he should pay more attention to. And it drove him insane, hearing her say his name; it became so addictive he kept teasing and touching her just so she called his name over and over.

"Hmmm, christ Carol", he heard himself say. He wasn't one to speak during sex, but this was Carol, and this wasn't just sex. It was so different than any other experience he might have had before that it deserved a different name, and they hadn't even taken their clothes off yet.

She grabbed his hand and pulled it away, her fingers working on his belt and unbuttoning his dusty jeans. He had no boxers on, and even when it embarrassed him a bit, he felt thankful he'd chosen to stop wearing them a while ago. He noticed it surprised her though, and she smirked and raised her brows, making him laugh. She brushed her hand down his length and he threw his head back, his eyes shutting close at the almost unbearable pleasant feeling. She tightened her grip then, his teeth clenching as he tried to think of anything other than her small hand moving up and down his cock.

"Easy, sweetheart.. ain't wanna ruin this", he hissed. He opened his eyes in shock by his choice of words and saw her face right over his. She was smiling, her body half on top of his as her hand slowly moved up his stomach.

"You could never ruin this", she said, leaning down to kiss him, his arms wrapping around her neck as his teeth bit her bottom lip and he just let go, his hips lifting up, thrusting his erection against the thin material of her pants. He shifted so he landed on top of her, his lips never leaving hers, their tongues playing back and forth against the other as his hand moved down her pants and slid them down, her legs moving frantically to get rid of the clothes. His mouth left hers and moved down the column of her throat, sucking and licking, encouraged by her heavy breathing, his hand moving in the opposite direction until it reached the hem of her bra, and it slid under it to brush against her nipple.

His mouth found her cleavage and kept moving down until it reached her breast, his tongue washing over her nipple. He felt her shiver and looked up, feeling a chill down his spine when she caught her looking right back at him, the hottest image he'd ever seen. Her hand slid down to grip his length again and he growled, sinking his teeth on her nipple, careful not to hut her. And his eyes went wide when he felt her guide himself right at her entrance, her hips lifting to take him in.

"Carol, we ain't got no condoms 'ere", he said suddenly, coming to his senses, even when he was half way in.

"Don't worry, we don't need them", was all she said. And of course, he trusted her. How couldn't he.

"Fuck, I can't believe we're doin' this", he said more to himself than her, closing his eyes at the feeling of how tight she was, fitting him damn perfectly. She let out a low moan, her hands going to his face to pull him towards her as he pushed slowly inside her, his hips moving side to side, trying to test by her sounds and face what felt better to her.

"Ya tell me whatcha like, it's been a while", he admitted then, his eyes opening up.

"Oh, that feels just fine", she hissed, rocking her own hips against him. He clenched his teeth. He wasn't going to last, he knew it, no matter how hard he tried. He thought about going down on her, the memory of her teasing him on top of that bus coming back, but he figured it was probably too soon for that. He slowly pulled back instead, his eyes stuck on hers as he thrusted deep and fast inside her, a loud sigh escaping her lips and he felt her tighten even more inside him.

"Damnit, Carol, I'm too fuckin' close", he said, biting her shoulder. She brought her hands to his buttocks and pressed him against her.

"Move faster and I might come with you", she said in between breaths, her tongue licking his earlobe.

"Fuckin' Christ", he said a little too loud, his thrusts becoming faster and erratic as he felt his orgasm build with such strength there was nothing he could do to stop it. And suddenly hers was there too, her muscles clenching around him and drawing him even deeper inside her as he heard her say his name and stay very still right afterwards.

He lazily opened his eyes, locks of sweaty hair plastered on his forehead. His heart was hammering so hard inside his chest he almost worried for a second, but then he saw her, her gaze so peaceful and serene he couldn't help but lean in and press his lips against hers. It felt surreal, what had just happened, and he tried hard to fight the embarrassment.

"This feels… surreal", she said, shifting to her side and resting her head on his chest.

"Yea, tha' was pretty much tha first thing that crossed my mind", he told her, stroking her hair. "What happens now?" he asked right away. It was the question he'd usually asked himself whenever he thought about making a move.

"I think… I think nothing happens Daryl", she said. He looked down at her, his brows furrowed. "I mean, it's been me and you, for a while now, at least for me. Now I guess it's still me and you, maybe with another element in the mix".

"Anotha' damn fine element... is there a damn single wrong thing 'bout ya? Seriously woman", he said in a sleepy voice.

* * *

Daryl couldn't figure a way out of this, at least not a way that kept them all alive, and he saw in Rick's eyes, he wasn't the only one thinking that way. They had challenged the odds the night before, but he doubted it happened again, even when they were more in numbers now. And for the first time, he was glad Carol wasn't there. He'd been determined to survive all this time just for the slim chance he found her, and now he'd walked into the trap himself. And even when he might die anytime soon, he couldn't help but smile as he remembered her soft body resting close to him. He might die tonight, tomorrow. It'd be over. But at least he'd told her how he felt. No regrets.


End file.
